Monday, June 1, 2009

Reflection: The Dream, One Year Later

The moment I laid my eyes upon the Rocky Mountains in the June of 1997 a dream began developing. I wanted to be there, for Colorado to be my home and to see those mountains everyday. At one point my cousin Blake and I decided that we would move to Colorado after college and be roommates. That didn’t quite work out, but I saw my original dream come true 11 years after it began forming. Colorful Colorado became my home.

A couple of years ago I realized there was only one thing I wanted to do: move west and work on a dude ranch. There are times when I stop to reflect and can’t believe that God opened doors and allowed me to live that dream. I am blessed beyond measure. I could have been faced with limitations of all sorts: poor health, financial constraints, or family concerns, but the doors were wide open. I have an array of feelings thinking through all of this. I feel pure joy and incredible sadness at the same time.

The past couple of months Durango had started to be home. I struggled during the off season (starting in October) with intense loneliness, but had begun to build relationships at church and even meet some people my age outside of church. With the snow levels going down and the temperature going up I was looking forward to outdoor activities and had found someone to start cycling with and wanted to work towards a 250 mile mountain ride in August. The elk were out in full force and I saw hundreds of them in the high meadows frequently on trips to town. When I moved to Colorado I didn’t want to get so used to my surroundings that I would stop realizing the beauty. The word “beauty” can’t come close to encompassing what I saw, felt, and experienced. The best camera in the world can’t capture the magnificence of the colors and layers of the mountains, stars on a clear night, the incredible brightness of a full moon, the view from atop the ridge behind the ranch, the live picture of 60 horses running and playing with the mountains as their backdrop, creeks, rushing waterfalls from melting snow, and so much more. Absolutely incredible. Everything was different … views (not quite the same as downtown Indianapolis), roads (constant curves and inclines), incredibly dry climate (constant need for lotion and chap stick), lack of oxygen (running=pain), lack of mosquitoes (as I sit here an itch a bite on my neck!), the need to wear sunscreen ALL the time (I sunburnt the top of my hand horseback riding my first week), road signs (watch for elk?!?!), fluffy snow (and LOTS of it) instead of sleet and slush, pastures with horses instead of corn fields with tractors, lots of trees, sides of mountains with trees burnt from wildfires, deer in my front yard constantly, turkey on the property all the time, and being within 100 yards of bears numerous times (other people saw them, I never did, which I now wish I had). Different is stimulating and brings with it excitement and joy.

Now I’m back in the Midwest where everything is familiar. No one envies where I live anymore. I don’t feel all that interesting now. I left a lot behind in Colorado: an InCrEdIbLe church. I can’t say enough about it and the growth and encouragement I experienced there. It all started with Kim’s “Dream Releasers” class. Then there was Tiffany’s extraordinarily loving spirit during “Passion Play”. Pastors Dwight and Linn have opened my eyes, challenged my heart, and bettered my soul. As long as they are posted online I will continue to listen to his sermons. You can find them at http://www.iriverchurch.org/. It is worth your time. Linn writes a blog that has been a blessing in my life: A Place Called Simplicity. When I think of Big Jim’s Sunday morning hugs and the way his blue eyes looked straight into my soul and would say exactly what I needed to hear like, “You are loved,” tears fill my eyes. These people will hold a special place in my heart the rest of my days.

Back to the dream. Was it everything I expected? Yes. Because I had very few expectations. The dream was a dude ranch in Colorado. That being accomplished, everything else was just icing on the cake. Chocolate icing to be exact. Or maybe rainbow chip icing on funfetti cake… Anyways, I didn’t get to ride horses as much as I would have liked, but I learned a lot more about horse care than I expected. I had some experiences I couldn’t have even dreamed of: moved cattle on horseback, did a choreographed drill on horseback for the guests with the wranglers, doctored injured horses, moved the herd up the mountain on horseback, and simply was blessed to be in the presence of these magnificent animals on a daily basis. When I started taking riding lessons in January 2007 my goal was to be comfortable on a horse. I accomplished that goal in taking lessons and then multiplied that entire experience ten fold in what I was able to do in Colorado. I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I am so much further than I ever thought I’d be when I first starting really developing my love of horses 5 years ago.

I learned other things too … when there is snow on the hill, slow down. Your truck may decide not to turn and you may run in to the one parked at the bottom of the hill. Tractors are fantastic at getting trucks unstuck. Not that the whole stuck thing was ever my fault. A Grand Prix will not go up a steep hill with snow on it. Period. If there is snow on the ground, do not wear high heels to church even if it is Easter Sunday. You may fall down the steps and land on the top of your foot and tear it all up. Extreme pain when wearing any kind of footware and scars will result. Clean up of [goat pee (x3) + mini horse pee (x2) + goat poo (x3) + mini horse poo (x2)] x7 months may be the most horrible smelling thing you have ever experienced. Be prepared to puke. Horse poo wet from melting snow is the weight of normal horse poo x1million. Be prepared for sore muscles. When holding on to a halter attempting to put medicine in the mouth of a horse that is part Clydesdale, your feet may not stay on the ground. Some horses are sexually aroused by having ointment put in to their eyes. A horse does not care that extra space is needed for the rider’s knee to make it around a gate. When a truck is about to go in to a river on the driver’s side, jump in to the passenger side, grab the wheel, and pray … fast. For the record, that wasn’t my fault and I saved that truck’s life! If the horses are feeling feisty and running in the exact opposite direction you want them to, stop, watch, and smile (and try to tune out the yelling of your coworker). If you are driving through Durango, you may see more deer in town than you do outside of town. You will fit in to Durango well if you are always late (me). Nothing starts on time. You will also fit in to Durango well if you are a hippie (not me). And if you like parades. Basically, if you are an outdoorsy hippie free thinking adrenaline junky who has a love of parades and cute touristy stores, and are habitually late, Durango is the place for you. Or if you are really stinking rich and want a million dollar home on the side of a mountain or top of a ridge, you will fit in really well too. Ok well 'normal' people like me find joy there too!

Obviously I have learned a lot since I began this journey of chasing the dream, but I think the greatest lesson for me to share with others is the importance of not spinning your wheels. It has been said … it is not what we do that we will regret in life, its what we don’t do… and that’s really what drove me to move to Colorado. I knew whether I lived another year or I lived to be 100, I would always regret not going if I didn’t. There is a new country song that says, “What am I waiting for?” We all wait, but for what? What you do doesn’t have to be life altering. Maybe you know someone at work that always seems sad and you think about reaching out but you haven’t yet. What are you waiting for? Let God use you! Or maybe you have thought about adopting an orphan. What are you waiting for? Seize the day! Perhaps you have a goal so big that it seems unattainable. I have been told and believe that if you can see yourself completing a task alone you aren’t thinking big enough. It needs to be so big that you know you can only do it with God’s help.

Alright I reckon that is enough preaching and I should talk about where I am now. I work with (and live at) Hidden Acres Christian Center in Iowa. It is a 60-75 minute drive NW of Des Moines. It is a 660 acre, 800 bed camp used primarily for kids camps and adult retreats (and has horses!!!). I am the Guest Group Retreat Coordinator, so if there is a retreat, it is my job to plan everything about their time here at camp and make sure everyone is happy while they are here. I absolutely LOVE my coworkers and fit in here perfectly. Total year a round staff is 14 and 9 of them are within 10 years of my age (almost 25!). There is a husband and wife who also live and work here who are super fun, invite me over to their house just to hang out, and have 3 darling little girls. I have often times missed by babysitting years and am thrilled to have neighbors to hang out with as that is something I missed horribly in Colorado.

It has taken me 2 weeks to write these 2 pages, so I am going to shush! I didn’t write this so much as to tell people about my life as to just let things out of my head. I figure maybe my experiences can entertain, encourage, or simply be something to read over morning coffee or at bed time! I’d love to hear from you so please comment or email kin.mich@gmail.com.

Seize the Day!